I Googled the name Carlos and most of the beautiful faces that appeared were men from Latino/Hispanic backgrounds. It pained me to see your name was not among the sea of faces. Because you were my early Google. When I went to ask you questions like “can you help get the money to go to Washington D.C. for the 8th grade field trip?” You would find the resources. When I got in trouble for having sex at an early age, you sit me down and had our “man chat.” When my dad and our mom kept going to jail or prison, you were one of the first to step up to support the family
Not having our parents around, you and grandma pitched in the most. Early winter mornings, you let me slide closer to feel your body heat while you slept. Only to ask me an hour later to go warm up your little ass car in the snowy parking lot of Crescent Heights. I would agree most of the time. And while I was in your car I would bang the Redman and Method Man CD with the track “Da Rockwilder.” Redman told us “now my neighbor doped up, got the cable hooked up, all channels, lift my shirt all mammal , you ship off keys and we ship grand pianos.”
We spoke the same language. We spoke hip hop. Actually you endorsed my speaking, living, understanding, and learning of hip hop in multiple forms.
When you would leave for work during your early twenties I would pray for you to come back home. My dad and our mom didn’t always come back home. As someone I looked up to and loved and respected I only prayed for you to return to me.
My brother, on this day, forty years after your birth, you have more than one son. Although Kyron is my nephew by birth, he is my brother by upbringing. Although you are my brother by birth, you are my father by upbringing. I think the world of you.
I would lay my body at the foot of the gas chamber if they ever tried to take you. More than anything, I would give my life to save yours because you have given your life to elevate mine.
Let it told that October 15, 2014 is your day to proclaim yourself one of the best people in the world. I am because you made me believe in the impossible.